Let the second round begin *DING*.
L goes in for this second round of chemo tomorrow, at 8:45 in the AM, adding suck to what already sucks.
Since he reported back to the doctor how he felt after the last chemo, the doctor was able to change some things up. He is adding some anti nausea meds to the drip that are slow release so they should go into effect several days later, which is when L was feeling the most sick. He also was able to give a script that L could take over the weekend to help him feel less out of it and more human than he had last time.
Last time was a pretty tough journey. L felt like crap on a stick for much of the time after. By the time he felt more human, he was at the point where his immune system was the lowest, giving him that flu getting sick feeling. This last week or so he finally has been himself, just in time to start this process again. Cancer, you suck.
Sorry I have not kept up with the blog. All I have to say is God bless single parents because keeping a household running while working full time and all the volunteer work I do, was really running me thin. A big THANK YOU goes out to LR for delivering dinner to my door even after me telling her I didn't need anything; I do love it when people ignore me when they know best (not said with sarcasm, I seriously do). It gave me one night that I could just sit on my butt (and finally write up those PTA meeting minutes lol). It has been an exhausting journey going through this.
It's amazing how high stress levels can get, even if you are not the one that actually HAS the disease.
We are hanging tough because that's what NKOTB tell you to do and you should seriously listen to them, they are rich, you know.
I also didn't blog right after because being in that room with all the other people getting chemo was seriously traumatic for me. There was a beautiful woman there, that was talking to another classic beauty about wig types. They were both excited to finally finish this chemo round so they could hurry out and go shopping before they started feeling badly. One of them had breast cancer, but before they discovered it, it had metastasized to her bones. She was currently fighting it in her spine, as well as other locations in her body. She was so upbeat, looking forward to Mexican food and shopping. I had to fight my instinct to just want to go put my arms around her and hold her, hoping some of the strength she was carrying herself with would come into me. I even shed tears as I write this. The way she just kept moving forward was mind blowing to me. I cannot imagine having to say good bye to my children, knowing I would not be there. It made my heart hurt for all the people that fight this every day and don't have the good cancer like L was lucky to get. What a fucking horrible disease. So many lives have been hurt by this and it just keeps on happening. It made me feel guilt for any emotion I was having regarding L. It could always be worse, but I guess that's true about whatever shit life throws at you. It's all relative until you have to say goodbye to your family.
So, that's mostly why I didn't blog. It hurt too much. Cancer hurts too much.
