If this was American Ninja Warrior, L would be half way to Mount Midoriyama....

           For all the American Ninja Warrior fans out there, I know you know what that means. 
                                       Stage 2
If this WAS American Ninja Warrior, L would have made it through that stage that always manages to somehow get the guys that should be a shoe in.  I'm talking to you, Brent Stefansson.  Letting your lady get all the glory.  What a gentleman.  So, Stage 2.  Could be worse.  Glad it's not.
He also has a couple of risk factors for spreading.  One is the size of the tumor that was removed.  The other is that vascular invasion is present.  I told him that sounds like a movie that MST 3000 would have covered.  And it would have been hilarious.  Two risk factors.  We should have known, as L is such a rebel.  Man has never taken an illegal drug in his life and has had only a few beers.  Though it was probably a risk breeding with me. :D
His kind is pure Seminoma.  I looked at him and said you don't even like Florida State.  :)
This is the kind that you want.  So woohoo for Seminoma!!
See, you learn so much being my friends.  I gave you all sorts of google worthy cancer science words that you can learn so at the next party you can sound even smarter than you already are.  You do know I only hang out with smart people. <3
          When they tell you that you have cancer, what they really should say is, you have what will be the biggest test in patience.  I thought waiting 9 months to hold your baby would have helped how I dealt with having to wait, but, shit, I did that twice and I am ILL PREPARED for all this god DAMN WAITING!!!
There is something wrong in what we are seeing in the sonogram, it looks bad, but you need to wait until tomorrow to talk about it.  We think you have cancer, you are going to need to wait a week and have surgery.  We took your remarkable left nut, but you are going to need to WAIT ANOTHER WEEK before we can tell you what stage.  We tell you, STAGE 2, but you are going to have to wait ANOTHER FUCKING WEEK to talk to the radiologist about your treatment plan, but that is okay, because you have to WAIT SOME MORE before you can start any treatment plan until your body heals from surgery.  WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.  I remember, even when I was little, waiting was tough, especially at Christmas time, when all those gifts sat under the tree.  At least that was a good wait, this is a suck ass one.
          The craziest thing is that now I have this news, I am feeling so much better.  My husband was diagnosed with Stage 2 cancer, yet I feel relief.  Yes, I know, I'm crazy, but if you are reading this, you are well aware of that fact all ready.  Maybe now it's because we see our foe, we recognize his weakness, and we know how he can be defeated!  Now that we know where L stands, we can take a plan of action (everyone knows how I LOVE those) and we can take steps to rid this from L so that we can move on to the next crazy thing that slaps us in the face (more termite damage I know is on the horizon)!  We have been told that there are three options.  Let me break them down for you.
1. Surveillance.  I personally think this one sounds kind of awesome.  I can see some healthy cells sitting in a car, on their CELL phone (see what I did there), taking photos of the cancer cells, making sure they don't start wandering around the body.  But, really, it just means monthly blood work, scans, and other test for a long time, then spreading them out to quarter, half year, year, etc.
2.  Radiation.   This is pretty much what it sounds like.  Except it's not a flight to Chernobyl.  L's concern with this one is the fact that it comes with a 4% cancer rate (the irony is ripe with that one) and due to his existing sleep issues, could cause him to be almost bedridden, though we have no idea since we have to WAIT A WEEK to talk to the radiation guy.
3.  Chemo.  No thanks.  While we are going to talk to the chemo guy, I believe this will be a total last resort and I think L would opt for 1 vs this one if it came down to it.

So, this still is a 98% survival rate.  No need to panic.  I learned the news, went out for some retail therapy, and am feeling MUCH better (until I pull out the receipt and realize the cash I dropped), but that's how retail therapy works, no?

We are still okay, in fact I do think we are a bit better now.  Now comes the dealing with work and figuring out schedules and time, etc.  Due to the long hours and stressful nature of L's job, I am really hoping he can get some time off to heal and then start the radiation.  You know which one I want L to choose.  I am hoping we can manage that so he can have the strength to fight this battle.

So, here we go, gearing up.  I'm donning my battle gear, though thinking my current uniform of a picture of balls with the left one x'ed out might not be the best thing to wear.  L is resting up, hanging out in the corner until the bell rings.  We are ready.  We will get through this.  Now, it's NO question.  The only question is time.  Fuck you, Waiting.  You suck.